Don't Say It!
by randomness6
Summary: Harry and Dudley get into a conversation over the summer. The real reason the Dursleys left and how they found out about Voldemort.


**Don't Say It!**

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

Dudley crept into Harry's room deciding it would be the easiest way to find blackmail material on his freakish cousin. He squeezed through the mess struggling because of his large amount of weight. Suddenly, he flew forward tripping over something. Falling he whacked his head off the corner of the bed. He jumped up swearing before flopping onto the bed. _Crack_. The bed split and Dudley fell through onto the carpeted floor. Dudley lay still groaning. Slowly, he rolled off the remains of the bed. His back hit something cold and hard and he froze. Who knew what his freak of a cousin had in here. As he quickly stood up he saw in a flash of white feathers before that ruddy owl flew into his face and began pecking at his head. He tried to bat her away but she just dug her claws into his vulnerable face.

Harry frowned as he heard loud bangs from upstairs and Dudley screaming like a little girl. He quickly dropped the pot he was drying onto his uncle's head. His uncle spun around glaring at him with his beady little eyes. Harry ignored him and raced up the stairs. Sprinting into his room, he paused before falling over laughing as he saw Dudley, with Hedwig attached to his face. Harry pulled himself together as he helped Dudley get Hedwig off him. Hedwig gave him one last evil look before giving a victory hoot and flying out in spirals.

"What the heck are you doing in here?" Harry asked loudly.

Dudley looked annoyed and answered back angrily, "This did used to be my room, you little freak."

Harry rolled his eyes and grabbed the newspaper off the remains of his bed. Just as well he was leaving soon. The front of the newspaper stated in large flashing letters: DON'T SAY VOLDEMORT! Dudley grabbed the newspaper wanting to read it. The article had a large picture of Voldemort in his dark robes as usual.

_Sources report that Voldemort's name is now cursed. _

_Since we are going to die anyway I am going to spend this time annoying people._

_The ministry is secretly under Voldemort's control. Anyway Voldemort's name is now cursed and if you say Voldemort then Snatchers will appear and torture you. So the moral of this article is don't say Voldemort except if you are facing him then it doesn't really matter and in that case don't call him Voldie or Tom or Tommy Boy. _

_By Rita Skeeter._

"Potter, why can't you say Voldemert, no, Voldemorrrt, emmmm, Voldemort?" Dudley asked.

"Well, how am I supposed to know? You took the Daily Prophet off me before I could read it!" Harry shouted back.

"Whoa calm it, freak," Dudley yelled.

"Just go away, Big D"

"And who is the freak with no nose?"

"That is You Know Who"

"Who the hell is You Know Who?" Dudley asked confused.

"He Who Must Not Be Named."

"Is that something to do with your boyfriend,Cedric"

"Don't talk about Cedric. You don't have the right."

"Well who is that dude in that newspaper then?

"That is the Dark Lord!

"And who is the Dark Lord when is at home."

"The bad guy."

"So why can't we say his name?"

"Because you're not supposed to. Can't you read."

"Yes I can..."

"Well is says that VOLDEMORT NAME IS CURSED!"

" HA I JUST GOT YOU TO SAY VOLDEMORT"

"Oh brilliant, you just said his name and we are not supposed to say it

"What do you mean WE!"

"Everyone even muggles aren't supposed to say it."

"Oh we shouldn't say Voldemort!"

"Yes, now don't say it again."

"Why can't I say Voldemort?"

_Crack. _Three men appeared in the room wearing black robes. Dudley screamed again and jumped backwards breaking the wardrobe. He fell backwards the mirror from the wall hitting him in the head as it fell.

A snatcher said,"Why did you say the Dark Lord's name?"

"What is the Dark Lord's name?" Harry asked trying to appear like a muggle.

"The Dark Lord is a well respected wizard," the snatcher answered.

"What's his name?" Harry asked.

"You Know Who!"

"Obviously I don't know,"

"He Who Must Not Be Named,"

"But you said he had a name so what is it?"

"We do not speak of him,"

"You're speaking of him now!"

"Be quiet muggle!"

"What's a muggle?"

"A non magic person,"

"Magic as in pulling a rabbit out a hat?

"No,"

"So is that what You Know Who does?"  
>"DO NOT DISRESPECT THE DARK LORD VOLDEMORT! Oh crap! I'm out of here!"<p>

_Crack. _The Snatchers disappeared. Harry had never realised how much fun it was to annoy his enemies. No wonder Fred and George have so much fun!

**A/N Please review and no flames.**


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